LEGEND OF THE HOLY SWORD EXCALIBUR: AXIS
by pielover3.14cherrypie
Summary: The Axis Powers seek out the holy sword Excalibur! Rated T because I'm paranoid.
1. Meeting Excalibur

**Finally it is here! Well. . . Enjoy! I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER OR HETALIA!**

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The three nations, Germany, Japan, and Italy were standing right in front of it: the holy sword, Excalibur. America had told them to search for it.

"I'll try to pull it out~!" Italy said cheerfully.

Germany looked at Japan and said, "He's not going to pull it out." Japan nodded in agreement.

Both were speechless when Italy pulled out Excalibur. "Yay! I got it!" Italy said cheerfully, holding the sword up in the air.

Excalibur started glowing, and light shot up. Dramatic music played. And then. . .

A small, white, sort-of lizard like thing just stood there. It had a tall hat and a cane. He pointed his cane at Italy.

"In order to become me meister, you must observe my one thousand provisions!" The thing, AKA Excailbur, said.

"What are provisions? Is that a kind of pasta~?" Italy asked.

"No Italy, provisions are-" Japan started, but was cut off.

"FOOL! Provision number one: my morning starts off with a cup of coffee with cream. Do you know why?" Excalibur asked.

"W-" Germany started.

"FOOL! It is because there is nothing like a cup of hot tea in the morning." Excalibur said.

"But you just s-" Italy started.

"FOOL! Provision number six hundred seventy nie: always place a dehumidifier in your room!" Excalibur said.

"What does that have to do with anything?!" Germany asked, annoyed.

"FOOL! Placing a dehumidifier in your room has to do with everything!" Excalbur objected.

"But how-" Japan started but was cut off.

"FOOL! Let me tell you a story. It was in the 12th century that my legend started in , but a few centuries later is where my story starts. So it was in November. . . Or was it May? But March is much more fitting. . ."

Italy got the look on his face that meant hje hadn't had pasta in at least 12 hours.

"So your twenties are a time of change! My twenties were very. . ." *one hour later* "It was then that the bartender. . ." *two hours later* "Watson came over, and at that, I knew he was the culprit." *two hors later* "And thus, King Arthur made me his sword." Excalibur finished.

The Axis looked sick.

"I am so declaring war against America once we get out. . ." One of the Axis Powers said.

And that nation. . . Was Italy.

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**Thanks for reading! Credit to Ayumi Koudou for the idea! Next to see Excalibur after this story is finished: the Nordics! Okay bye bye!**


	2. The Second Chapter

**Part two is here! This will be the final part, and then I will move on to the Nordics. I have a weird obsession with Finland XD But that won't come til awhile, see, I have plot bunnies! And that other story. See, I want to write something. . . Serious. Since all I have written has been crazy, you may think it would be impossible for me to pull it off well. And, maybe it is! But I will try. . . Sometime. Enough blabbering, and on to the story!**

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"FOOLS!" Excalibur said.

"Why is he so mean~?" Italy pouted to Germany and Japan, who both looked like they were about to throw up.

"FOOL! One cannot be 'mean!'" Excalibur said.

"I'm suffering from a migrain. . . What the hell do you want from us?! I brought some potatoes, just take them and leave us alone!" Germany said, on the verge of tears. Yes, Germany said that.

"FOOL! Never put carrots in my meals! That is provision number two hundred seventy eight!" Excalibur said.

"But those were potatoes. . ." Japan said.

"I enjoy your presense! I shall reward you with a song!" Excalibur exclaimed, completely ignoring Japan.

"OH GAWD NO." Everyone said in defeat.

"Excalibur! Excalibur! From the United K! I'm looking for heavan, I'm going to California!" Excalibur sang while hopping around. "Excalibur! Excalibur! EXCALIBUR!" Then he did a cool pose.

"So he's all England's fault. . . Boy, am I gonna teach that guy a lesson!" Germany gritted through his teeth, holding up his fist.

"Mr. Germany calm down!" Japan said. Then he had an idea. He grabbed Excalibur, and plunged him into the ground, turning him back into a sword.

"What? Aren't you going to become my meister?" Excalibur asked.

"NO WAY." Italy replied back.

And so they walked out of the cavern of Excalibur, and later they would have a "talk" with England and America.

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**The end! Maybe. . . Just maybe. . . I can make the little "talk" a story. Hee hee hee. . . Anyways, hope you liked it! Next to see Excalibur: the Nordics!**


	3. Revenge on America PART 1

**IT IS FINALLY HERE! AFTER SO MUCH TIME! I'm sorry, I am very busy! But enjoy!**

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The next world meeting was at America's house. Just as planned. How was it planned, you may ask?

"No! It can't be at this Canada guy's house! It has to be at America's!"

"Ve~ But aren't they the same?"

"No, or at reast I don't think so. . ."

"Japan~ Isn't Election Day coming up at America's house?"

"Erection day? Yes, it's coming up. . ."

"JAPAN!"

"GUYS!" America's boss yelled at the German, Italian, and Japanese nations, silencing them. "Why do you want it in America so badly?!"

"E-etto. . ." Japan glanced at his fellow nations for help.

"We would like to go sight seeing!" Germany said quickly. "We've always wanted to see Florida! Right?"

"Hai!"

"Si!"

America's boss pondered on this for a little. "But it is Election Day soon. . . I guess I might be able to arrange it. It isn't a good idea to let Alfred vote for his own leader."

"Ve~! We get to go Florida on Erection Day, as Japan calls it!" Italy said cheerfully.

"Yay!" Japan said in agreement. But they weren't just glad about going to Florida on Erection Day, oh no. They were glad about getting revenge on America for Excalibur. . . On Erection Day.

"I guess that's good." Germany said.

America's boss just looked at them worriedly.

And so the next world meeting was in Florida. On Erection Day.

America seemed bummed about not being able to vote. On Erection Day. Still, he freely gave out his awesome opinions!

That was the first thing that the Axis Powers used against him.

All the attention was at America while he was giving out his idea.

"So dudes we should totally like build a giant blimp and make it rain hamburgers on the land of Narnia and make Russia wear a ballerina outfit thing while China totally-"

He was cut off. Cut off by his ears. No, he still had ears, but they were quite different from before.

America had the ears of a cat! And guess which member of the Axis Powers did this!

. . . Done yet?

GERMANY! No, I'm only kidding, it was Japan. And boy, he sure wasn't done yet!

So, you know how yaoi fangirls love cat ears? Guess what that attracted? YAOI FANGIRLS! And the occasional mime. Why the occasional mime came, not even the author knows.

""FUCK WITH ENGLAND!"

"NO, CHINA!"

"NO, HIM AND CANADA ARE PERFECT!"

Everyone stared at the fangirl who had just shouted that.

"Who?"

Then they countinued arguing over who would be best. Hungary even joined in with them! "I personally prefer America with England, but him and Canada are good, too. Now, when it comes to lemons I do like. . ."

And the conversation of yaoi fangirls while America had cat ears countinued while America refused to speak the rest of the meeting.

And, sadly for America, the Axis Powers had more plans to come for him. In Florida. On Erection Day.

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**Hope you liked this! This turned into more of a crackfic XD But hey, it's getting revenge for Excalibur, and who wouldn't go to all those lengths for it? Thanks for reading! Reviews and suggestions are appreciated! :)**


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